Forgive Them and Love Them

Forgive Them and Love Them

Do we really know to what measure we must forgive?  I can say I have forgiven somebody, but have I really forgiven them and do I really know how to forgive?  I had to ask myself this question many times. 

My father was not a nice person and he made life miserable for me, our family, and any other person that became a part of his life.  I labeled him a terrorist before the word became popular. I remember as a kid in high school I would avoid seeing him for months at a time even though we lived in the same house.  We had a side entrance and I knew his schedule so it was easy to plan how not to see him. 

He died six years ago without ever saying the words “I love you” to me.  I can’t remember a time that I truly loved my dad.  So, it was a relief for me not to have to face him anymore and the fear he brought to my life. Through it all, I had emptiness in my heart.

As I go around talking with people I hear their stories on how they have forgiven a person.  It goes something like this: “I have forgiven John, but……I have forgiven Jane, but…….”  I interrupt them immediately and tell them that there is no “but” in forgiveness.  What they are telling me is that they still have that ping of un-forgiveness whenever that person comes into remembrance. You may have forgiven them once, but you may have to forgive them over and over again as it says in Matthew 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Symbolically, we have to forgive over and over even if it exceeds seventy times seven.

Being a believer in God, I had to forgive my Dad and even though he is dead.  I had to understand how his sin affected his life and the lives of others, but God still loved him just as much God loves me.  My Dad just did not know how to love because he was not taught the love of our Heavenly Father.  Once I was able to separate his sin from the person God created and loved, I was able to bring about healing in my life.

I want to share with you what the Lord showed me. I already knew how to forgive my Dad when thoughts of his offenses come to mind even to this day.  Somehow this was not working for me because I did not feel at peace because I did not love my Dad.  It is only when I started this process of confession that the healing became complete.  I pray this short prayer out loud confessing my forgiveness for my dad and confessing out lout how much I love him. 

Father God, I forgive _________ for all their offenses towards me.  Father God, I love ______ who you created in love. 

What we say can be a blessing or a curse.  Our verbal confession of forgiveness and our verbal confession of love for those who have offended us is a blessing not only for the person but for us. 

Shout out to the Lord your confession of forgiveness and love for the person who has offended you so that God will forgive you. 

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.  Matthew 6:14-15

‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ (As the Lord loves you)  Matthew 22:39

I pray the love from our Heavenly Father helps you overcome any un-forgiveness so that there is healing in your life.

Tony Sanchez 5-18-13