Are You Representing God The Father To Your Family?
The greatest commandment in Scripture is this: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deuteronomy 6:5). Going back to verse 2, we read, “So that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.” Following Deuteronomy 6:5, we read, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (vv. 6-7).
Israelite history reveals that the father was to be diligent in instructing his children in the ways and words of the Lord for their own spiritual development and well-being. The father who was obedient to the commands of Scripture did just that. This brings us to Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” To “train” indicates the first instruction that a father and mother give to a child. The training is designed to make clear to children the manner of life they are intended for.
Ephesians 6:4 is a summary of instructions to the father, stated in both a negative and positive way. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” The negative part of this verse indicates that a father is not to foster negativity in his children by severity, injustice, partiality, or unreasonable exercise of authority. Harsh, unreasonable conduct towards a child will only serve to nurture evil in the heart. The word “provoke” means “to irritate, exasperate, rub the wrong way, or incite.” This is done by a wrong spirit and wrong methods—severity, unreasonableness, sternness, harshness, cruel demands, needless restrictions, and selfish insistence upon dictatorial authority. Such provocation will produce adverse reactions, deadening children’s affection, reducing their desire for holiness, and making them feel that they cannot possibly please their parents. A wise parent seeks to make obedience desirable and attainable by love and gentleness.
The positive part of Ephesians 6:4 is expressed in a comprehensive direction—educate them, bring them up, develop their conduct in all of life by the instruction and admonition of the Lord. This is the whole process of educating and discipline. The word “admonition” carries the idea of reminding the child of faults (constructively) and duties (responsibilities).
I would like to conduct a survey. How many men don’t remember your earthy farther saying “I love you” or if he did, you did not believe him because of the way he said it, acted or treated you? Raise your hand. Prior surveys resulted in 90% of the men raising their hand. Many have said “I know he loved me”. We need more. We need to hear it. Raise your hand if you did not remember your earthly father saying he loves you or if he did, you did not believe it because of the way he acted or treated you?
The spiritual head of the family should represent Father God to our wife and children. We are to think, speak, act, as God has intended us to do as spiritual head of the family. Unfortunately, we have not done a good job. No excuse, but many of us have not had a father that has represented God the Father. We have not had a good example.
Most of us may have known our earthly father to be on a throne with lightning bolts in his hand looking to pounce on us at every opportunity and not knowing what kind of mood he is in or not knowing what he is going to do next. He brought ungodly fear to us from his throne. This is not what God wanted us to feel. He wanted us to feel safe and secure. We have a break down on how to represent our Heavenly Father to our wives and children.
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. This is Godly order. The head of every man is Jesus Christ and we should present ourselves to our family as Jesus Christ has presented Himself to us. The first words to my wife every morning should be “I love you. You are a good wife.” The first words to my kids in morning should be “I love you son/daughter. You are a good boy/girl.” These same words should be repeated throughout the day if necessary so that they feel the love of God the father through us. Trick question: What should be the last words we say to our family before bedtime?
Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus said to him, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor (wife/ children) as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
The order of the home should be God the Father in all that we do. John 14:28 Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us.” They need to feel the love of God through us. We are not to bring wrath to our wives, kids, or anyone else.
Isaiah 1:16-17 “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Put away the evil of your doings from before My eyes. Cease to do evil, Learn to do good; Seek justice, Rebuke the oppressor; Defend the fatherless, Plead for the widow. Who are the fatherless? Fathers, who have died. Absent fathers due to divorce, work, TV, internet, hobbies, or lack of involvement. Fathers who have deserted their children or wives (could be called widowed wives even though the husband is alive).
Our prisons are full of men because they did not have a father that represented God the Father in heaven. I want to share a prison story with you about a greeting card company who wanted to get involved helping prisoners send Mother’s Day cards. The announcement went out to the prisoners. They just simply had to address the cards and the card company would send the cards. 100% of the inmates participated. It was very successful. The Mother’s Day cards worked out so good they decided to do the same for Father’s Day. Unfortunately, when Father’s Day cards were announced, not one prisoner participated.
This story shows us what is lacking in the lives of these prisoners-an earthly father that represents our God in heaven. They have not received the love of their father, the comfort the father brings, and the example needed to be a father to their children. They have received rejection, abandonment, and an unloving spirit from their fathers. They have bitterness and un-forgiveness. There is a breech and it has to be repaired so they can know the love of the father for healing. Isaiah 58:12 ……You shall raise up the foundations of many generations; And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach, The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.
It also shows you how the Mothers have become the head of the family. Mothers should not be the matriarch of the family. God set up man as the patriarch or head over the family. Fathers and husbands are the ones who are called to represent God as the father to his family just as if it were God Himself.
The Christian father is really an instrument in God's hand. The whole process of instruction and discipline must be that which God commands and which He administers, so that His authority should be brought into constant and immediate contact with the mind, heart, and conscience of the wife and children. The human father should never present himself as the ultimate authority to determine truth and duty. It is only by making God the teacher and ruler on whose authority everything is done that the goals of education can best be attained.
Ephesians 1:17 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him
Prayer:
Father God, we ask you to give us knowledge, wisdom and the strength to represent You as fathers and husbands to our families.
Amen
Blessings to you all,
