Note: Before we get started, we must understand what bitterness does to our bones.
Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine,
But a broken spirit (bitterness) dries the bones.
Proverbs 14:30 A sound heart is life to the body, But
envy is rottenness to the bones.
Psalm
6:2 Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal
me, for my bones are troubled.
Drying of the bones means that it dries the bone morrow and
the white T cells that protects us from immune diseases. In addition, bitterness and anxiety/stress/fear
cause cortisol drip. Excessive cortisol secretion
destroys white T cells and soft tissue throughout the body including the brain
which leads to dementia.
Bitterness
is a principality of the enemy. Ephesians
6:12 says: For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against
principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,
against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
If we are in conflict with one another, I am not your
enemy. You are not my enemy. The problem here is we are not able to
separate the person from their sin.
Their sin is our enemy – Not them!
When someone violates us, we make him or her evil along with
the evil they did, don’t we? You must be
able to separate people form their sin.
God didn’t create you from the foundations of the world as a
sinner. God created you from the
foundation of the world as saints before Him and as His sons and daughters
forever. Because of sin, we have become
separated from God. Even after
conversion, we still have many things to work out.
Bitterness is a principality; under it and answering to
it are seven evil spirits (demons) that reinforce bitterness.
1. Unforgiveness
When the root of bitterness in Hebrews gets a foothold, the
first thing that happens is a record of wrongs.
Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of
God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many
become defiled Hebrews 12:15.
How many of you are still having flashbacks from people
hurting you? If I mentioned someone who
hurt you, you would probably give me 15 reasons why you don’t like them. Then, you would tell many others the same 15
reasons. This results in gossip, slander,
and embellishment (making it worse than what it is), especially true with
families. This is unforgiveness. After unforgiveness gets a foothold and
creates a record of wrongs, there’s another dimension of the spiritual
dynamics. It is called resentment.
2. Resentment
Resentment is the record of wrongs being fueled by feelings
of holding onto it and starting to meditate on the wrongs. It’s hard to understand that we have feelings
of resentment as we think about the people in our mind throughout the day. It’s because you are a spirit being; you have
a soul, and you live in your body.
Resentment is a spiritual problem, not a psychological
problem. Bitterness, unforgiveness, and
resentment are spiritual problems, not psychological problems. You can take these keys and use them in any
spiritual conflict you have in your life.
This gets us right here in our heart.
This is what separates us from others and it is the foundation of fear
which may come later: fear of man, fear of rejection, fear of failure, and fear
of abandonment.
Retaliation
After resentment gets a foothold, then we have
retaliation. We take an attitude of “I
don’t forgive, I just get even.”
After resentment has started to simmer, we find ways to get back at the
person who caused it. Most often with
gossip, slander, and backstabbing.
Retaliation wants to make the person pay. They want to get even.
3. Anger
After retaliation gets a foothold, then anger starts to set
in. Unforgiveness, resentment and
retaliation have been building and now a real strong feeling of anger comes
along. Anger is very hard to
control. What we fail to understand is
anger is a choice. Nobody can make you
angry unless you allow someone to make you angry.
4. Hatred
After anger sets in, there comes hatred. Hatred says this: “Because I’m remembering
what you did to me, because I have really been meditation on it and I really
resent it, I’m going to get even. I’m
going to get the pressure cooker going because I’m going to add fuel to the
fire, and now at this stage you do not have any reason to exist anymore,
especially in my presence.” Hatred says,
“There is not even room on this planer for you and me at the same place at the
same time.” Hated says, “You and I
cannot stay in the same room together.” Hatred starts to develop into the
elimination process.
5. Violence
After hatred comes violence.
Violence says this: Before I
eliminate you, you are going to feel my pain.
You are going to hear my voice.
You are going to know my hatred.
You are going to experience my hatred.”
6. Murder
Once violence erupts, the final fruit of bitterness is
murder. This can be actual physical
murder, or murder with the tongue, which is character assassination or verbal
abuse. Whenever I find any of these in a
person’s life, all the stuff from here (the mind) to here (the heart) is
there. I know if we do not deal with it,
it’s going to go to the heart and take up residence.
When hatred, violence, and murder are in someone’s life,
they feel they are justified and everybody else is going to pay the price. Have you been a victim of this? Did you feel defiled? Have you made a victim
of someone else on this basis?
I have found that if any one of these seven areas answering
to bitterness exists, all of the preceding ones will be there from the one
area. I noticed; if left unchecked, all
the rest will surely come. For example,
if you see hatred in a person, unforgiveness, resentment, retaliation and anger
always precede. Also, each of the seven
is progressively worse than the one just proceeding it. For example, violence
is much more serious problem than resentment.
Forgiveness: What
God Expects of us – 70 x7
What does God
expect of us when we are forgiving someone else and ourselves? I mentioned ourselves as well because we can
have bitterness towards ourselves and the seven steps can apply to ourselves
Peter and Jesus had an interesting conversation. Jesus was teaching and Peter asked the Lord, how
often should I forgive my brother? Up to
seven times? Jesus said, no, I do not
say until seven times; I say to you seventy times seven. Matthew 18:22 22 Jesus said to him, “I do
not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
What Jesus is saying is that we must continue to forgive
until the unforgiveness is not an issue anymore. When the remembrance of the hurt or offense does
not sting anymore. Forgiving is much
more effective if we declare forgiveness out loud consistently.
You forgive others and yourself because God had forgiven
you. God has told us to forgive and we
are His obedient children. When you
forgive your brother his trespasses, then God will release you because you have
released your brother from his trespass.
You are now released from the spirit of bitterness and the antagonistic
high-octane ping on the inside goes away.
You will always remember the evil that was done to you but you do not
have to carry it as a sin in your own life.
You do not have to carry someone else’s sin inside of
you. This is their sin. God will be their judge. Your job is to release them, get back before
God, get your heart right with God, then keep on moving. Your freedom does not depend on their
resolution – it depends on your resolution.
When you forgive others, you are not letting them off the
hook, but giving them to God. You are
off the hook.
When you forgive someone, you continue to hate their sin,
but you are commanded to love them. John
13:34- A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have
loved you, that you also love one another.
We are not the judge when it comes to sin. Sinners cannot judge sinners. Only God will judge.
Romans 14:10 But why do you judge your brother? Or why do
you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment
seat of Christ.
1 Corinthians 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we
would not be judged.
When it comes down to it, why are we judging someone to
begin with? Because we want retaliation!
Whether a person responds to you in forgiveness or not, it’s
their problem and their sin. Walk away,
keep your heart right, and ask God to bring reconciliation, and pray for them. Do what you can to bring it about and if you
cannot have peace, keep on moving.
Ephesians 4:31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger,
harsh words, and slander…. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, even as God forgave you
From Henry Wrights book, A More Excellent Way (p. 99) Tony Sanchez April 29, 2025
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